I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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