I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize