nut hugger
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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