Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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