I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
