Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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