Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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