And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
