its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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