I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Four minutes until I can fart!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
