i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
never play flip cup with pint glasses
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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