It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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