jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i drank out of a bidet.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Come share oat with me in your robe
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
