my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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