the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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