So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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