You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
