Im at strip club and am horny
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
my liver is dry heaving
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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