TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
