she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
