Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
