Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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