out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
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He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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