The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
wow bdsm is so cute
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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