you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
