I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
