dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
