Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
