Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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