This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize