I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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