is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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