It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
