I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
