Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
