I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
