just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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