We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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