Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
