you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
