the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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