Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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