YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
