Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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