looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
