i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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