yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
