He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.