Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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