i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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