My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
