She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
In America we eat man semen.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
