Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
