it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
