Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
