I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
